so long, Roy

We lost a friend this week. Roy lived next door to our Michigan cabin and became our unofficial property caretaker. Translated, Roy knew almost everything about anything having to do with cabin and lake life and he patiently answered our questions and walked us through many a crisis. We knew next to nothing about lake life, but Roy was a willing teacher.

He taught us about wells and winterizing, snaking pipes, and how to evict skunks from under a cabin. Roy helped us put in and take out the dock, get the boat running, and helped Mark and Katie build a section onto the dock our first year. Roy called us one winter day when a howling northern Michigan wind storm had taken down three pine trees. "Taking care of it," he reported. Roy helped us cut down trees and clear brush, turned on the electricity and the fridge and opened windows so the cabin would be aired out upon our arrival. He tinkered with the plumbing and I don't know if there's anyone else who'll be able to figure it out.

Our key was on Roy's chain and he walked the property through the winter keeping a keen eye on things. And he asked about our kids, even just three weeks ago saying, "I miss seeing Katie up here!"

His chocolate Lab Cocoa was Roy's constant companion, whether accompanying him over to our place or riding down the road in the golf cart. I'd hear Roy whistle about 10 o'clock each night, calling Cocoa in.

We'd take him to dinner at the Hideaway, enjoying burgers and nachos together. And we knew that a visit from Roy meant a good, long conversation catching up on Presque Isle news. We learned to relax a bit more with Roy around.

Yesterday morning Bill awoke to a text message from another neighbor. Roy had died the night before in the hospital. His ongoing health problems, including a "ticker that won't tick," had caught up with him.

We will miss you, Roy. We'll miss your deep well of knowledge but especially your steady friendship these last 12 years. Though we thanked you many times, I just want to thank you again. Life at the lake won't be the same without you.

the rhythm of the road: Steve and Grace

On our last day in Jensen Beach, we met up for brunch with dear friends Steve and Grace. Oh, do we have a history! We met Steve and Grace when we first moved to Florida and were newlyweds. Their children were young, so we'd spend evenings playing Password after the children were in bed.

They showed us how to love, live and forgive as a married couple. They shared meals, laughter, and even their home with us when a hurricane struck.

Our friendship continues after almost 35 years.

A shared brunch was wonderful, though way too brief.

Love you, Steve and Grace!

(I'm so glad a passerby snapped this photo.)

Next up: across the state to visit our oldest boy!

lunch out

Today I met my Moms in Touch friends for lunch at 1808 American Bistro, a swanky-for-Delaware downtown restaurant. Oh, man. Three of us ordered the same dish: Crispy Almond Chicken Salad. Gorgeous greens, tomatoes, bacon (whoops), maple-vinaigrette dressing and a huge, flattened, panko-almond-crumb-crusted chicken breast. Outstanding!

l to r: Nan, Elizabeth, Lori and me.

When we gathered in August for coffee (pictured here) Nan, Elizabeth, Lori and I agreed to try a monthly lunch on the last Wednesday of each month. (Sampling different restaurants ... yum.) You might remember this post, when we laid our plan. It has worked for two months now and it's so great. We're reacquainting with each other. With 15 children between us, we don't always cover all the kids, but touch on a few each time we meet. Husbands, too. (Just four of those!) And we share our hopes, dreams and a few sorrows. Lots of laughter, too.

Lori shared quite the story today of moving her daughter to New York City. I think we're all glad to live in small-town Ohio.

God knit us together all these years. It's a sweet, special and rich friendship. Thank you, Nan, Elizabeth and Lori!

birthday girls in the 'hood

I admit to being a little envious of my neighbor gal-pals, Lynn and Dove. They share a birthday today, and what a spectacular day it was. We chatted over lunch on my back porch, surrounded by a perfect autumn day. October 10: just a lovely time for a birthday!

Don't you know, I had my camera out to snap a photo and FORGOT. As much as I see them, I don't even have a photo of the two together! Well, today I wish Dove and Lynn a happy birthday. Dove is our outdoor adventurer girl and Lynn is our June Cleaver. They both out-garden me. I think it's pretty unusual to be surrounded by neighbors who still chat in the front yard, borrow eggs and sour cream and even ovens, put up with each other's barking dogs, talk over the back fence (yes, literally we do) and just all around enjoy being together.

I hope you have some neighbor friends like I have here. Happy birthday, Lynn and Dove!

happy birthday, Lisa!

Whether biking or boating,
meeting for lunch or ice cream,

camping in a tent on cold nights,
driving Girl Scouts hither and yon,
and laughing more than our husbands can bear,

Lisa and I are fast friends.

I admire her heart for serving others that is big, big, big.
And I am thankful she's my friend.

Happy birthday, Lisa!

4 moms, 15 years, 15 kids

Nan, Elizabeth, Lori and me. We met for coffee this week. We began praying together for our children (15 in all!) and their schools about 15 years ago. A world-wide prayer movement called Moms in Touch was the brainchild of one mom and its sole purpose is moms praying for their own children, other children, schools and teachers. It's not a coffee klatch. Not a gossip session. Just one hour of prayer a week. And what a powerful, Spirit-led hour it was.

As our children have graduated, married, given us grandchildren, the four of us haven't gathered to pray in awhile. We hadn't even met for coffee in a long time, until this week. We've decided to meet for lunch monthly.

Having prayed together all those years, through victories and heartache over our kids, we feel incredibly close. Nan, Elizabeth, Lori and I love coffee together, but we especially love our fellowship. Thanks, girls!

sisters

Wow, wow, do I love comments! Twelve yesterday! Well. Three were mine, so they don't count. But it's fun to hear from everyone. Thanks!

Drumroll, please: Katie completed her online course! It's done, thank you, Lord. And Katie!

She's having a little visit with two close friends from college. The memories of my own college years flood back as I hear the girls talking and giggling late at night. I love seeing Katie's close, deep friendships with these "sisters" who will likely be friends for life.

There's something sweet and special about young women who are tasting their new independence and learning what God has for them in life as they live in community with each other. The last three years have been amazing for Katie.

Make the most of this time, girls, for soon life will whisk you off to new friends and places. There will never be anything quite like college.

7.11 photos

We spent all of July a-way up north at our cabin in Michigan. Thought I'd share some of my favorite photos.

This being the last summer, it was especially sweet to have Katie with us as she prepares for her senior year in college. She kept busy with an online course, and two weeks working at a nearby camp. But we also had time to laugh, eat ice cream, and take photos together. Katie says she gets her photography talent from me, but she's miles ahead!

We love the light inside the old Presque Isle lighthouse, built in 1840. (OK, I know I just posted this photo, but I like it.)

Oh and by the way, the wedding Katie shot on Saturday was sweet, simple, elegant, and just perfect. Katie and her assistant Jill worked hard! I don't think we realize the difficulty of a given job until someone we loves DOES that job. This includes wedding photography. The next three photos are Katie's, btw.

As much as we like being there, we love it when friends visit. Especially dear friends who we don't see often, friends who appreciate simple living in an old cabin beside a lake. So it thrilled us when our friends Dan and Beth made the trip from FLORIDA all the way to northern Michigan and stayed for most of one week. We have known Dan and Beth for over 30 years, so we had a sweet and hilarious time time together!

 At times, maybe a little too hilarious ...

Our biggest expense while at the cabin  is ice cream up at the harbor. Two huge scoops for $2 and the flavors are different every day. Flavors like Blueberry Wafflecone, Michigan Black Bear, and Mackinac Island Fudge. Bill tasted mine one evening and took a hugely oversized bite. Wow.

Let me go on record for saying that I don't believe dogs need a vacation, but if ever a dog loves a getaway, it's our Ellie. She has lots of freedom at the cabin, so what could be better for a dog?

Rock hounds! The rocks in this part of Michigan are amazing.

Finally, we were blessed with many glorious sunsets that God painted

at day's end. It was a lovely month indeed.

Tomorrow: one more favorite photo!

the birthday girls of 10.10.10

Isn't 10/10/10 about the coolest date for anything special? I happen to have TWO friends with a birthday today! These are the gals who live right next door and right across the street. You know those neighbor non-relationships where the people come home, shut their garage doors and go in the house? Not here, oh no. I couldn't stay anonymous if I wanted to. Here's what we've shared over the past 17 years...

- illnesses, surgeries, and loss of a parent
- caring for ailing parents
- kids learning to drive
- hitting each other's cars on the street
- borrowing (we agree not to return the items so all are free to borrow) sugar, eggs, milk, tomatoes, butter, cream cheese, you name it
- bad - really bad - hair days
- snow days
- dog care -- runaway dogs, howling dogs, barking dogs, hungry dogs, peeing dogs
- rebellious kids ... countless tears shed
- funny, loving and honorable kids, too
- weddings and babies
- achieving kids and kids who don't
- clueless husband stories
- thoughtful husband stories
- what books we've read
- coffee, tea, birthday cakes, breakfasts
- mailbox balloons
- flower-growing contests by our mailboxes
- chasing baby raccoons around the neighborhood
- sun tea contests: who gets the first jar out in the spring
- graduation parties (I win on this one)
- gardening expertise (I lose on this one)
- computer knowledge (I totally lose on this one)
- kids moving out, moving in and moving around
- prayer with and for each other

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DOVE AND LYNN ... thank you for keeping your garage doors up and your hearts open. I love you!

(This post is borrowed from 2008 ... some just bear repeating!)

the Richeys' bricks

Keith and Dorothy Richey, a lovely retired couple, live down at the corner. They've lived there as long as I can remember. If they moved in after we did, I don't recall, as I was busy changing diapers and making dinner.

The Richeys' corner just so happens to be a bus stop for the public school kids. When my kids were in school, that corner resembled a school playground every morning. Girls giggling and generally behaving well, and boys, well, being boys. Smacking each other with book bags. Yelling and whooping as boys do. Pushing - and yes I witnessed this - each other into the street. The other thing the kids did was to hold onto the street sign pole and mindlessly run around and around like hamsters on a wheel. This activity effectively killed a circle of grass there on the Richeys' corner. I'd remind my own children to refrain from this, because it was someone's yard, but seeing as how most kids suffer from amnesia and/or hearing loss, the spinning continued.

One day I saw Keith and Dorothy out by the street sign. Oh, dear: they're trying to plant more grass on that sad spot. But no.

The Richeys had assembled a small pile of bricks and were fitting them together on the ground around the pole. They fashioned a neat miniature "patio" for the kids to pound their careless little feet upon.

No calling parents. No fist-shaking. No yelling. No threats. Just a simple solution that conveyed an understanding of kids and a love-your-neighbor attitude. And it told this parent "it's no big deal."

All these years later, the bricks remain. And every time I pass, I think of how some people have it right in life. The Richeys know what's important and what's not. They showed that getting on a high horse about little stuff like dead grass is a waste of time. They cared more about children and being a good neighbor than their lawn.

Thank you, Richeys. I want to be like you, off my high horse.

Note: as I was taking photos of their bricks, Dorothy stuck her head out the door. "Whatcha doing, Barb?" And so we chatted and I met their new puppy, Dawn.

Grace

Happy birthday, dear Grace.

You are ....

A devoted friend for over 30 years.

Mentor.

Like a mother, like a sister.

Cross-stitch teacher.

'Password' partner: the best!

Maker of popcorn.

Spiritual encourager.

Perceptive of people and their character.

Giver.

Lover of life, beauty, adventure.

Encourager in life.

Deserving of a fantastically happy birthday!

tomatoes vs. friends

Here it is, August 24, and I all I have to show for my gardening is one tomato. It's a beauty, as tomatoes go. But just ONE?

I used to grow a decent crop of tomatoes prior to pushing out the back of our house ten years ago. Encroaching closer to the pine trees, the previously sun-splashed south side of the house grew ever shadier. And tomatoes absolutely must have lots of sun.

The front yard is more open, but faces north. And who grows tomatoes in the front yard? Oh. My neighbor Lynn, that's who. Sorry, Lynn! You may grow tomatoes wherever you choose.

Some of you readers might be aghast to learn we live in a SUBDIVISION here in Ohio. Yeah, the S-word! Country people, I know a few, just can't fathom living in a subdivision.

Our lot might not lend itself to grand gardens. But we have grown something else over the past 20 years. Blessed, awesome friendships with our neighbors.

And I'll take friends over home-grown tomatoes any day.

Happy birthday - I-actually-wrote-this-on-your-birthday-two-days-ago - Beth!!

Beth and I met over thirty years ago, both of us newlyweds. In fact, I was her wedding "photographer," though it's a stretch to claim the title ... seeing how far photography has come and my daughter is a real, live photographer and would probably snicker at those wedding snapshots.

Anyway. Back to Beth. Since those newlywed early-friendship days, life has pushed and pulled and brought us to a whole new place.

We each had children.
We moved apart (well, I moved away)
We drifted, I would say, in the way that our hearts weren't closely knit.

Then, unknown to us both, we each encountered God and began growing in relationship with him. This turn in our lives drew us together in most miraculous ways. Beth and I now share our joys, hurts, questions and even laughter with a deeper connection.

The photo? Its caption might read, "my car is essentially a big purse." This was in Tampa during our wild ride at the World Series last fall. The woman takes everything, I mean ev-er-y-thing on a trip.

Yeah, Beth's car is trash, but SHE is a treasure.

Happy birthday, Beth!

happy birthday, Pat!

(This post is part of an essay that ran in the Columbus Dispatch in May, 2007.)

Only the most precious of mothers adopts the children of an absent mother.

I know such a woman. And she has made it her business to know me. Her name is Pat. She lived across the street from us in Connecticut and befriended my mother, who was born and raised in the Deep South.

No matter to this Boston-bred Irish Catholic: Pat might not have fully understood the “foreigner” who arrived in small-town New England, but she embraced her.

In those days, our families lived on shoestrings, and Mom carpooled with Pat and her preschoolers to the grocery store each week. They were riotous outings lasting several hours, with fidgety toddlers wedged between grocery sacks in the back of our station wagon.

The two spoke on the phone daily as they washed breakfast dishes or folded a load of towels. They cackled hysterically over who-knows-what.

Sharing first days of kindergarten, child psychology and recipes, Mom and Pat forged a sisterly friendship - one that lasted 15 years, well past our family's move in 1971 to Tennessee.

But when my mother died eight years later, she couldn't have imagined the extent to which Pat would honor their friendship. She slid unobtrusively into the roles of mother, mentor and grandmother for my three siblings and me and the 11 grandchildren my mother would never know.

Pat wasted no time demonstrating her devotion: The morning of Mom’s death, she dropped what she was doing to make arrangements for her two high schoolers, tend unfinished household details and book a flight to Memphis. Once there, she comforted us in small but memorable ways. Like helping my sister and me clean out mom's closet.

Through the years, postcards from “Gramma Pat” arrived in our mailbox as she lovingly related a travel adventure to my children. Boston Globe articles were carefully clipped and mailed as only a mother does -- articles often about the Red Sox because Pat and her husband John share a love of baseball with our son David.

Birthdays, Christmases, graduations and even the occasion of a new driver’s license –Pat remembers them all.

I treasure the phone calls and notes in which Pat still encourages and guides me by sharing wisdom from her seasons of motherhood. Even with a sizable family of her own, she has taken on another. Pat has doubled her love-output for nearly 30 years.

For that, and for her, I am grateful. A very happy birthday, Pat Power!

Silent Night

Last night we witnessed a peculiar thing called Silent Night. It's an annual basketball game held the first Friday of December at Taylor University. The enormous crowd remains silent for the first nine points scored. At the tenth point, the crowd erupts into a wild frenzy.

The students wore pajamas, Santa hats and elf slippers. Even the university's president strolled through in a bathrobe, greeting students and visitors. Rival residence halls chanted out to each other and my sons' former dorm, Sammy Morris, serenaded us with Christmas carols from the end zone.

Following the game, the crowd of students met up at the dining commons for "Habecker's Holipalooza" - a festive Christmas celebration of cookie-decorating, hearing the Christmas story from President Habecker and other fun events.

Of course, we had a bit of our own fun at Ivanhoe's, the famous local restaurant. Several parents who'd gone to Ireland enjoyed Ivanhoe's burgers and sundaes.

Special thanks to the RODMAN FAMILY who live in Upland. We spent some time together and had good laughs over Kelsie's pizza dough, which was mysteriously missing the yeast. The warm fellowship with them made it all ok. Thanks, Kelsie & Rob, Ellie, Jessi and David!

Katie and her good friend, Christy, enjoying Silent Night.

honor

Last night I was privileged. My neighbor, Annie, asked me to be her sponsor as she was inducted into the National Honor Society. While the induction ceremony was a formality, the sponsors, I believe, represent the many people who invest in the lives of these young people.

Some of them sail through their academics and others have to work very hard to earn the grades and meet the criteria to be admitted to the N.H.S.

In Annie's case, she is an excellent student. She also faced some major challenges in the past year, so this was a special celebration of Annie's hard work and for her friends and family who've supported her.

As I gazed up into the lights of the auditorium, I reflected. Impacting kids isn't a microwave proposition. It's more like crock pot cooking.

Whether you're a parent, scout leader, neighbor or youth pastor, you'll not usually see the fruit of your efforts until many years later, if at all. Think of it this way. You put the ingredients in the crock pot in the morning and won't see the finished product until much later in the day. The day is long and the cooking is slow.

Though good grades are honorable and should be encouraged, I believe children also need to be taught to honor themselves, their family and especially their God. It requires a huge measure of time, patience, prayer, love, energy, wit and winsomeness. Kind of like making sure all the right ingredients are in the crock pot. Then keeping an eye on it til dinnertime.

Congratulations, Annie. May your life speak honor. Always.

parting thoughts of Tampa/St. Pete

As my mind usually goes, I got off track of my World Series adventure in Tampa/St. Petersburg. Here are a few more thoughts and photos...



Beth's daughter KC, David and Beth before game one.




Wow - game one.





Beth and I had loads of fun, however we were a little disorganized. Ex: Once parked, it took us a half hour to get ready to walk into the ballpark. Here's Beth, looking for something: hairbrush, jacket, a snack, or bottle of water? We were really messed up. I mean our things were messed up...



David in his office at the Trop...ready to leave at the end of a very long day.


I call this the "Elvis Diner," since they claim Elvis ate here in the 50's. It was fun to eat here Friday morning.



My good friend Patti joined us on Thursday/Friday and we checked out Fort DeSoto...a beautiful park at the southern end of St. Petersburg. Here we are -- Patti's hiding!




Campaign signs were plentiful, and this was my favorite...a candidate with ALMOST the same name as my hubby.


Now guess where this is .. go ahead, guess. THE TAMPA AIRPORT! Bless the young woman at the Delta desk who said: "If you go upstairs to the Marriott, there's a pool right off their lobby. They don't mind if airline passengers use it." Since I had EIGHT HOURS to kill before my flight, this worked out just dandy. I bothered a gentleman across the pool to take my photo. It was odd to see people sunbathing alongside their luggage.

the time of my life

Never would I have dreamed of going to two World Series games. But that's what I did and it just goes to show: I can and maybe should get out of my comfy little coccoon and do wild and impetuous things.

I flew to Tampa last Wednesday and thanks to my wild and impetuous friend Beth, we were at THE TROP (Tropicana Field, home of the Tampa Bay Rays) a few hours before the start of game one. David met us and though he was working and quite the busy media man, he checked in with us throughout the evening.

More on this excellent adventure, but for now I'm watching game four. Go RAYS!

another birthday!

I need to digress from the travelogue and wish DOVE AND LYNN a happy birthday. These are the gals who live right next door and right across the street. You know those neighbor non-relationships where the people come home, shut their garage doors and go in the house? Not here, oh no. I couldn't stay anonymous if I wanted to. Here's what we've shared over the past 15 years...

- illnesses, surgeries, and loss of a parent
- kids learning to drive
- hitting each other's cars on the street
- "borrowing" (we agree not to return the items so all are free to borrow) sugar, eggs, milk, tomatoes, butter, cream cheese, you name it
- bad - really bad - hair days
- snow days
- dog care -- runaway dogs, howling dogs, barking dogs, hungry dogs, peeing dogs
- rebellious kids ... countless tears shed
- funny, loving and honorable kids, too
- achieving kids and kids who don't
- clueless husband stories
- thoughtful husband stories
- what books we've read
- coffee, tea, birthday cakes, breakfasts
- mailbox balloons
- flower-growing contests by our mailboxes
- sun tea contests: who gets the first jar out in the spring
- graduation parties (I win on this one)
- gardening expertise (I lose on this one)
- computer knowledge (I totally lose on this one)
- an unhealthy infatuation with the movie "Mama Mia"
- kids moving out, moving in and moving around

And best of all, we share a faith in the same God and love sharing it: when we see where God's taking us and especially when we don't.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DOVE AND LYNN ... thank you for keeping your garage doors up and your hearts open. I love you!

happy birthday, lisa

Today I wish my dear friend Lisa a happy birthday. We've traveled many a road together. I know she remembers...

Keeping a group of Brownies contained on a hot summer night at Girl Scout day camp: oh, yes, there was vomit ... camping, hiking and biking in extreme weather conditions ... riding the turi-bus in Mexico City for hours in the rain ... laughing so hard we lost control (of what, I won't say) and embarrassed the girls no end ... sitting through countless tennis matches ... delivering calendars ... selling, counting, and freezing Girl Scout cookies ... together learning how to let go as our kids leave the nest ... and best of all, wrapping this all up into a sweet package called friendship.

You are a special gift, Lisa, sent by God to brighten my life. Have a happy birthday!