the old Christmas trail

This post, by Donna Boucher (a blogger and photographer I love) set my mind near an old familiar trail. I took this trail every Christmas for too many years.

It started the year my mother died, 1979. Bill and I drove to Memphis to spend Christmas with my dad and siblings. Though we went through the motions of roast turkey and a trimmed tree, a heaviness hung over the house. Always the maker of Christmas in the family, my mother's absence was raw, sharp and devastating.

As the years went on, little things hit me. "Angels We Have Heard on High," a favorite carol of Mom's, would bring me to tears. Gifts hidden in closets. Christmas morning coffee cake and cheese grits. Once our children came along, emotions only heightened. I tried to make Christmas wonderful for my kids, to give them memories they'd always cherish. But by December 24, as much as I tried to ignore it, the combined stress and sadness swept over me. It really wasn't the proper focus at all, for me or the kids. I hope they "got" Christ at Christmas despite my gloominess.

My mother's death pre-dated my spiritual rebirth by 8 years. But by the time I yielded my life to God, habits were firmly rooted. Habits like fixing my eyes on the seen, not the unseen. Valuing a worldly view over an eternal one. And yes, allowing memories and the idea of a picture-perfect Christmas to overwhelm me.

These days? It's much better, though my mind can dally near that old trail. I pray for a heart focused on Christ and his will for my December. To give, to serve, to love better. And to be comforted by God.

Still, perhaps I'll always struggle with a damaged heart around Christmas time. It seems to be a condition shared by so many. If you find yourself there, I understand. As Donna Boucher says,

 

"I won't tell you to snap out of it. I can only say, I know."

I pray blessings, peace, contentment and eyes ever on Christ this Christmas.

venturing outdoors - day after Christmas!

Dan and Jenny kindly hosted us all at their house, and we were thankful. But when the sun shone the day after Christmas we grabbed the chance to get outdoors. Thank you, North Carolina!

There's a neat park, formerly a farm, nearby. Off we went.

Jenny and Jill swingin' their boys




the best we could do with squirmy girls



Though Noah was happy to oblige for a photo.



I love how Ash pauses just long enough for a sweet photo.

Our Ari just makes you catch her exuberance ... no poses!

 

Nothing's much sweeter than seeing my sons and their wives love
their children. Wonderful parents, all of them. (Jenny & Noah)

 

 

 

 

I think everyone except Bill and me is in this photo!




Aw, Lily, climbing a tree like her cousins.
 

Ash with her daddy Dan.



Mark and Jill with Lily and a snoozing Ethan.

Playing the simplest version of hide 'n seek with Aunt Jill.

 

After a bit, we'd had all the play we needed and headed home.

Jobs, where they live, and our kids' busy lives allow us to all gather about once a year. It's an especially sweet and treasured time. Love you all, miss you. Thank you for making my Christmas the best yet.

catchin' up on Christmas

 

One of my favorites of our Christmas photo shoot!

 

Whoa, Christmas flew by, but seeing as how we spent it with ALL our kids and grandkids way down in Charlotte, it's taken awhile to get back on track. But I'm excited to share some photos.

Between Katie and me, we got a few decent shots. But oh goodness we couldn't man the cameras all the time. There was cooking and cleaning up to do, diapers to change, stories to read, bandaids to apply, toys to shove aside, popcorn to make, children to bathe and cuddle, and plain catching up with each other. Gloriously exhausting, it was!

So here goes ...


What a difference a year makes! (2012) ...

... and 2013. Whew, wasn't sure we could hold on to them all!
l to r: Noah, Ashlyn, Ari, Ethan and Lily

the guys seemed to have it all together
 

Mark and his boy Ethan

 

Uncle Dave can handle these guys, no problem!

So what's going on here? The guys are each making their own "Scotto" board. Same as the game 'Sequence,' but homemade on plywood with decks of cards, glue and polyurethane.
It was quite the project but they've always wanted their own boards.
 (We made one for Bill in 1997.)

Ari reading "Fancy Nancy Christmas"

 

 








Come on, what's cuter than the girls' table??



Bill (aka Popsy) found a few sweet moments with his grandbabies.
 



Katie and Jenny cooking up something fabulous. We ate well!


 

Er Noah, you're losing your pants. hehe




Oh gracious, this I love!
Jill's a wonderful mama.

The weather improved enough to get to a park. That's what you can do in North Carolina in December and it'll be my next post!




Merry Christmas!

 

Merry Christmas, friends!

We are with family this week and I promise photos next week.

May the hope, promise and peace of Christ

surround you.

 

O come, let us adore him, Christ the Lord!



a twinkling

The light displays on homes shout

LOOK HOW BIG and SHOWY!

Inflated snowmen, reindeer and igloos try their best to scream Christmas.

This year especially,

I want only unassuming Christmas décor.

After an emotional year of my husband's serious surgery,

losing my dad,
and the decline of Bill's mom,

I feel fragile in a way, 

as if tossed by life's storms.

 

Somehow I am most attracted to the simplest of light displays.

I wonder about the hearts inside those houses.

Have they, too, struggled this year?

Suffered a loss?

Was a strand or two of lights all they could manage?

Are they plain tired of the frantic pace of life?

 

I prefer a single, white candle burning in each window,

our tradition for 35 years.

A simple string of white lights around a door.

Across the street our neighbors hang two wreaths on either side of the garage door,
tiny white lights encircling each.

After the Exlines have gone to bed, the wreaths twinkle through the cold night,
the gentlest of reminders:
Christ is coming.

 

 

My heart needs little in the way of a clanging celebration this Christmas .

Instead, it will rest in the simplest reminders

that Christ came gently,

not as an eight-foot snowman

but as a baby.
In our year of baby boys,
we rejoice in the hope born in new life.
 

Christmas isn't defined by miles of lights.
But rather a candle's flicker, a tiny twinkling,

reminds me of the Christ child
sent by God
to deliver

his quiet
and unrelenting love.

 

decorating

 

 

Confession.

With each passing year I am losing the enthusiasm to decorate for Christmas.

Ugh!

One commenter said on Donna Boucher's recent post

"it must have to do with being in our 50's."

 

I am a bit tired ....

of hauling the bins from the crawl space,

of picking through the knick-knacks and garlands and light strands and coffee mugs

to decide what gets used and what stays in the bins.

And for what?

Yes, to serve as a reminder of the coming and the hope of Christ,

though I can do that in my words and thoughts and actions and prayers and worship.

But then who am I to forego my mother's electric candles in the windows,

a simple tree adorned with lights and 35 years of ornaments?

Would I regret it come December 24?

 

So two days ago, Katie and I hauled out the bins

and in a less-than-reverent voice I announced,

"one hour! I'm only doing this for one hour!"

And that's what we did.

That evening Bill said,

"the house looks nice. Thank you."

 

More on this topic later!

 

 

closing down 2012



Jill and Lily, December 26



Hello again! I think we can all agree on the busy-ness of the season. A friend at church told me her family made three trips over the holidays. Three! We stayed home the whole time and still I didn't find time to blog.

I cooked. I got rooms and beds ready. I swept up dog hair. I went to the grocery over and over. I wrapped. I watched a movie or two and ate popcorn. Then came the snow - we've actually had three snowfalls in a week - and while I didn't shovel much, I watched the shoveling and readied the throw rug by the doors. My southern friends think snow is pretty. The older I get, the more I think it's a pain.

Best of all was having 4 of 6 kids here and 1 of 3 granddaughters too. It snowed and snowed the day after Christmas ... Lily loved tasting it! What a doll! So special having her here for her first Christmas, even though she enjoyed a set of car keys and the wrappings best.

This is my best photo of the week. Good light is a photographer's best friend and our house has none.My next house will face east and west, not north and south!

Good tidings and happy new year to all!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone!

As family arrive and the cooking and wrapping are finished,

I've found little time to blog.

But I pray your Christmas holds the joy, peace and wonder

of Christ. He is God, who became a man

to live among all people. He was and is and forevermore will be ... love.

Love to you this Christmas!

Christmas? cards

I find writing Christmas cards a complete pleasure. Always have. It's such a blessing to write a note to each person on our list, letting them know we're thinking of them.

This year's "Christmas" card is more of a new year's card. Since our family had not been all together for a year, I had to wait on the photo until Christmas. Techinically, December 26. That set me to wondering, should our card be just from Bill and me? The kids are grown, and except for Katie in college, on their own. In light of yesterday's post, am I holding on too tightly?

Well, we're still family. And I love the annual photo of us on our Christmas card. So as long as I can possibly orchestrate one, there'll be a family photo for our card.

Busy weekend ahead ... writing cards!

Christmas at our house

We still have family here ... it's been wonderful, chaotic, noisy, delicious, hilarious. A whole year has passed since we were all together, and granddaughter Ashlyn joined us in June. I just want to bottle up these days to last a few months; to treasure the rich love and laughter of siblings, children and grandchildren.

I know a few friends are wondering about our Christmas card. It's not in the mail yet since we only took the photo today. I had a grand idea to go to a park or hiking trail, but orchestration isn't simple with a two-year-old and 6-month-old. How I remember those days. So here's a sneak peek, snapped on our front porch. (Thank you to our neighbor, Sammy Arnett, for assisting!)

soon enough you'll save the day

This post first appeared two years ago. The song "Joseph's Lullaby" always brings me to tears, so I'm sharing it again.

As we await await the arrival of our first grandchild, I remember the profound changes in my heart as I had our children. [2011 update ... third grandchild due in a few weeks!]


With it being Christmas week, I think of Joseph. He, too, welcomed his baby into the world. While Joseph's son was destined to be the Savior of the world, for all people, for all time, Joseph was a man, a humble carpenter. I can't imagine his divided emotions over the arrival of this little boy. The group MercyMe expresses Joseph's situation beautifully. Take a listen. I hope it brings your heart closer to the heart of Christmas.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PytP9XPhP1g&feature=related

Go to sleep my Son
This manger for your bed
You have a long road before You
Rest Your little head
Can You feel the weight of Your glory?
Do You understand the price?
Does the Father guard Your heart for now
So You can sleep tonight?

Go to sleep my Son
Go and chase Your dreams
This world can wait for one more moment
Go and sleep in peace.

I believe the glory of Heaven
Is lying in my arms tonight
Lord, I ask that He for just this moment
Simply be my child.

Go to sleep my Son
Baby, close Your eyes
Soon enough You'll save the day
But for now, dear Child of mine
Oh my Jesus, Sleep tight

- MercyMe

Merry, beautiful Christmas, everyone. And if there are burdens on your heart,

look to the One who can lift them.

close to Christmas!

Today I was a busy, busy elf. Wrapping's done. Baking's begun. Just some odds and ends tomorrow.

A white Christmas it shall be in Denver. But the forecast here in Ohio calls for sunny skies and mid-40's. It's really fine with me. I don't demand snow for Christmas.

While we won't have a white Christmas, we'll surely have one that's noisy, full of laughter, lots-of-good-food-and-dishes-filled, and  warm with the love of all of us being together again. I think we'll also eat a mountain of popcorn, as we Hallers do.

How do you like our tree?

an elf's life

Oooooo, I'm a busy elf. But blogging goes on because December 31 is looming and so is my 200-post goal!

A friend gave me a recipe for peppermint bark, which I love, so I'm going to try making it. With only three ingredients, what can go wrong?

All my chidren and granddaughters arrive this weekend ... we're going to have a hum-dinger happy Haller-days! I have the menus pretty well set, the groceries somewhat set, and the to-do list dwindling (but not fast enough). I'm even typing up a schedule for us, not that I'm all that organized, but things seem to flow better when 10 people aren't asking "what's next?"

And we're also going to have a baby shower! Hoooo-wheeee!

With as busy as I am, I haven't even done Christmas cards! Our family hasn't been together for a photo in a year, so it'll be a January card, friends.

I think we women must be the closest thing there is to Santa's elves. Last-minute frantic flurry of Christmas preparation, choosing just the right gifts and stocking-stuffers and getting them wrapped.

I'm super excited to welcome Christmas and all our family! And especially, to celebrate the birth of our Savior, the sweetest gift of all.

Secret Santa

"Secret Santa" conjures up some great memories.

First, way back when, Sears used to hold a special shopping "day" (actually two whole hours) FOR CHILDREN ONLY. My dad would take me down to Sears on a Saturday morning and the store personnel would escort dozens of children in to do their shopping ... while the parents stood outside drinking coffee. I thought I was some big stuff, shopping all by my 6-year-old self! Does anyone else remember this?

Then, when my first two boys were small, I was part of a Welcome Wagon group. We women made crafts to donate so that our children could "shop" for family. Santa made an appearance, naturally, as seen here with my son Dan, then 11 months old. He was none too happy with Santa! Think about it: a tiny child being plopped on the lap of a large man in a red suit and big white beard. Darn scary.

When my kids were in elementary school, their school put on a Secret Santa event every December. Moms and dads set up tables down the hallways, loaded with inexpensive merchandise on consignment from local stores. The children could do their shopping and wrapping on their own while parents ate hot dogs and popcorn in the gym. The kids absolutely loved it, and their school is still doing the event.

Got any secret Santa memories?

a plan and a bag

I'm pretty good at setting goals, but not so good at reaching them. Actually horrible much of the time.

But as I looked over our calendar, I made a goal fueled not only by our schedule, but also by the experience of past Decembers ... frantic, lots-of-last-minute-shopping Decembers. No fun at all.

This year had to be different. For the first time in many years, my three sibs and I will be together with our dad in Nashville the weekend before Christmas. Then, the wonderful Haller-days begin when ALL my chickies and grand-chickies come back to roost for Christmas!

And so, I doggedly set out to finish most of my shopping by this weekend. And it looks like I will meet my goal. Folks, this is unprecedented! So much so, that I keep thinking Christmas is days away, rather than two and a half weeks from now.

My Christmas readiness took two simple steps.

1. A plan. I made a list of the gifts I intended to buy, grouped by recipients. I typed this up and PRINTED IT OFF, miracle of miracles. From that I could plan my targeted stores, or, best of all, late nights in jammies at the computer. Oh, thank you Lord, for giving someone the brain to create Amazon!

2. A bag. Then I saved ads and coupons, slipping them, along with my list, in a large plastic zip-loc bag. (Thank you Lord, too, for zip-loc bags.) I never left home without that bag. Let the sales clerks chuckle. Believe me, my Christmas shopping bag is invaluable for this slightly (?) disorganized shopper. I included a calculator, pen and extra paper for notes. A portable desk!

Go ahead and laugh, you never-procrastinators! And especially you grandmas who hit the January sales in preparation for Christmas! I've nearly accomplished the impossible and look forward to really and truly taking time to appreciate the greatest gift of all: God's love given to us.

Bless you in your preparations!

two days in the life

The past two days I ...

* could have found myself on the mall Santa's lap, but thankfully did not. You see, I was studying my mall map (yes, I dorkily use a mall map).

* spent four hours shopping. Well, maybe more like three. The other hour was spent waiting in traffic and finding parking spots.

* decided there is no recession in Columbus, Ohio.

* was amazed that the stores had lots of sales help. These people actually asked if I needed help. Refreshing!

* went to ten stores total.

* worked at my part-time job for over ten hours.

* mentally prepared a checklist for next year: Christmas shop in October, bake in November, write cards in early December. Then said to myself, says I, "you're joking, right?"

* texted with my sister, two sons, daughter, two daughters-in-love and husband. All important Christmas business.

* found this photo taken almost one year ago in Charlotte, N.C. at the Billy Graham museum. What a peaceful, lovely evening our family spent there.

I hope you are sailing happily toward Christmas!

Joseph's Lullaby

I struggle this time of year, allowing myself to get overly busy, trying to "make a perfect Christmas." I don't shop early, bake early or write cards early. So it all piles up ... right about now. Honestly? I probably don't even stop to consider why I do all these things at all. Except that I love others and want to give.

Without fail, what always brings me back to the 'why' of Christmas is music. The lyrics of old favorites and new compositions soften my soul and allow God to remind me of why we give. Because He gave. It's that simple.

I'm borrowing the rest of this post from last year because I like it. Oh, and because my shopping's not done!

[We were awaiting the birth of our first grandchild.] I think of Joseph. He, too, welcomed his baby into the world. While Joseph's son was destined to be the Savior of the world, for all people, for all time, Joseph was a man, a humble carpenter. I can't imagine his divided emotions over the arrival of this little boy. The group MercyMe expresses Joseph's situation beautifully. Take a listen. I hope it brings your heart closer to the heart of Christmas.


www.youtube.com/watch?v=PytP9XPhP1g&feature=related

Go to sleep my Son
This manger for your bed
You have a long road before You
Rest Your little head.

Can You feel the weight of Your glory?
Do You understand the price?
Does the Father guard Your heart for now
So You can sleep tonight?

Go to sleep my Son
Go and chase Your dreams
This world can wait for one more moment
Go and sleep in peace.

I believe the glory of Heaven
Is lying in my arms tonight
Lord, I ask that He for just this moment
Simply be my child.

Go to sleep my Son
Baby, close Your eyes
Soon enough You'll save the day
But for now, dear Child of mine
Oh my Jesus, Sleep tight

- MercyMe

with a tree on top, don't, DON'T pull into the garage!

I'm pleased to announce that we did NOT pull into the garage whilst our Christmas tree was tied atop the van. Yay us!

Who would do that, you ask? I did. Yes, I most certainly did, probably ten years ago. But I had four giddy kids in the van at the time, all of them loudly drunk on Christmas expectation. We'd just visited Bill at his office, where a lovely Christmas open house was in progress. After letting them eat a free dinner of BBQ weenies and onion dip, I corralled the kids and headed home. Garage door up, pull in.

Scrreeeeech, scratch. My four sobered up in a hurry. "MOM! THE TREE'S STILL ON THE VAN!"
Duh. I knew that. Well, I did know it, but as harried moms tend to do, I forgot for the few seconds it took to pull into the garage and wedge the tree between van and garage door. Dang.

The boys were big enough to tackle the problem, which, picture this, was a tree in a tight spot. I'd had it. Had enough of kids, Christmas, BBQ weenies, and trees. I walked into the house and let them solve it.

They scooted and slid it right off. And we all laughed.

Every year they remind me of my Christmas lapse in judgment. I'm sure this year will be no different.

Christmas and the meaning of life

December! As Christmas presses in and retailers threaten to strangle us with trappings and tinsel, I must push it away and get to the core of Christmas: the undeserved gift of Christ.

God loves us with an everlasting love. He is unutterably merciful and kind, and sees to it that not a day passes without the opportunity for new applications of the old truth of becoming a child of God.

This, to me, sums up the meaning of life.

                                                                                               - Elisabeth Elliot

If you missed my post on Elisabeth and wonder about her, go to: Elisabeth Elliot. She's my hero. A prolific writer of incredible spiritual depth who has pursued God for seven decades.

a merry, garage-cleaning Christmas

There's a first time for everything, and I'm pretty sure this was the first year I helped organize a garage on Christmas Day. Here's how it went down ...

We drove to Charlotte to spend Christmas with our son Dan and daughter-in-love Jenny, who is due to deliver their first baby very soon. We spent the first couple of days eating, playing games, driving in the bustling Charlotte traffic and watching movies.

But I couldn't get my mind off the garage. Dan had mentioned needing to clean it out. And whoa, this garage was in dire need of cleaning bulldozing and organization. Knowing that Jenny was in no condition for the task, and won't be for oh, say 15 years, I rallied the troops to tackle the project.

First we broke down the mountain of cardboard boxes for recycling and bagged up newspapers. We filled a couple of garbage bags with trash. Impressively, about a quarter of the garage was soon filled with trash and recycling.

Armed with a ladder and drill, we set to work erecting shelves on one wall. My sons, while they might not admit it, were duly impressed with my knowledge of tools and construction, such as it was. In little more than an hour, the shelves were up and loaded with numerous garage-items: coolers, boots, tent, gardening supplies and bins.

We worked right up until our delicious pot roast dinner, set out by Jenny and Katie. By this point, my bones and joints yelled for a break, but Dan energized me to finish the task and wanted to hang the bikes. Back we went to the garage, measuring and estimating the ideal spot.

At last, about 8:30 p.m., we brought Jenny out for her Christmas 'surprise,' as if she didn't know why we spent Christmas afternoon in the garage sweeping, sorting, tossing and making countless trips into the house.

Merry Christmas, Jenny and Dan! It's one I'll always remember!