love

Happy Valentine's Day! So much has happened in our family in the past year. It was about this time a year ago that we first saw the orthopedic surgeon and learned Bill would need a spinal fusion. (Ten months later, he is still recovering; some days are just an effort for him.) We welcomed two precious grandsons over the summer. My dad died in early September after a long journey through dementia and my adoptive mom, Pat, passed away suddenly in January. Finally, I helped our daughter Katie move to Florida last month. Bill's mom, 97, lives here in town in assisted living. She seems physically well but her memory is not.

Every family encounters trials and joys, but the past year seemed to give us extra helpings of each. All of our children and grandchildren now live out of state. Some days I really struggle with this. I never imagined we'd want to "follow" our kids as they move away, but now we are beginning to talk and pray about possibly relocating. I don't know, maybe losing Dad brought this into focus for me. I don't want to be an absent grandmother. And while yes, we can "take road trips" (a comment I hear often), honestly it's getting old to have to drive 450 miles to hold a grandchild or celebrate a birthday.

Some retirees look forward to travel, hobbies and socializing and I'm fine with some of that. Bill and I enjoy our quiet evenings, dinners for two, and bike rides. But my heart aches terribly in missing those five precious little ones. I never want to be intrusive or overbearing in the lives of my children and grandchildren, but I do want to be available, to know, love and enjoy them.

I think it comes down to love. Things like houses and vacations don't much matter to me. They certainly won't matter in eternity. After God, family is the only thing I need to love.

And so while I seek God's wisdom and grapple with Him stirring my spirit, I trust He has the best plan, the best timing and will prepare us for whatever is to come. Also, I am reminded to "be content whatever the circumstances." (Philippians 4:11). No matter what I may want, I choose to trust God in all things.

my un-Valentine

Bill and I have never embraced the traditional, commercial aspects of Valentine's Day. In the beginning, he seemed to reject that "someone" like Hallmark dictated a day of love. Then once our children came along, we ended up with three born in January and February; two of their birthdays are six days on either side of Valentine's Day. I was frankly up to my eyeballs in February celebrations.

So Valentine's Day took a backseat in our house.

Now that we're empty-nesters and having been married for almost 35 years, I've grown to appreciate the everyday expressions of love.

Perhaps some won't see it this way, but it's very dear to me.

It shows lasting commitment.

Bill makes the coffee every morning. He gets it ready, but waits until I'm up to turn it on, knowing I don't like coffee that's been sitting awhile.

I can't quite admit it, but I don't especially like to do the driving on our long trips.

He gladly takes the wheel while I read or nap. Hours and hours.

And when we travel, he's always willing to pull over for whatever I want:

coffee, ice cream, a photo opp, or an interesting shop.

Bill's more than flexible when it comes to meals. The man would eat cold

lasagna for breakfast with no complaint.

I don't think I can recall five meals he hasn't liked in 35 years.

A writer needs solitude, time to think and write.
He gives me that, day after day.

When the kids were young and I was home with them,

Bill never once asked, "what did you do all day?"

He seemed to appreciate that I'd done plenty, even if the house was a wreck.

And speaking of that, he never really cared if the house was a wreck.

He thought it was more important that I spend time with the

children than clean house.

I'm not always easy to love, but my husband keeps at it,
an example of 1 Corinthians 13.
"... love is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrong ... always protects,
trusts, perseveres ..."

And though Valentine's Day isn't his thing,

Bill will offer to take me out for lunch or dinner.

But then, he does that all through the year.

That's what endears him to me this Valentine's Day.

I love you, honey!

To see your husband loving your children - and grandchildren - might be the best Valentine of all.

our Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day. We do it our way, hubby and me. A late lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant. A visit with his mom. Stayed home and made baked salmon and wild rice for dinner. Lingered over the candlelight and talked about our dreams and plans. It's not flowers and chocolates for us, but we like it.
And love each other. The Author of love is eloquent on how love should play out.

Love is patient,

[my teenager needs to share a heartache late into the night, past my bedtime]

love is kind.

[someone knocks at my door, uninvited]

It does not envy,

[wouldn't a new house be nice?]

it does not boast,

[I might have some successes in life, but still have much to learn]

it is not proud.

[why do I find it so hard to admit my failings to others?]

It is not rude,

[have I really listened with quiet respect to my husband today?]

it is not self-seeking,

[I'd love that last piece of cheesecake, but so would my husband]

it is not easily angered,

[does it really matter if he wants to organize the fridge - again?]

it keeps no record of wrongs.

[am I pointing out my child's mistakes once again?]

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
[I always told my kids that they can expect the truth from me, and I expect the same from them.
Real relationship is built on truth.] 

It always protects,

always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

[I know God expects from me what He's given me: love, hope, faith.
When life is gritty and mundane and just no fun,
I will stand up straight and just do the next thing.]

Love never fails.

[Of this I can be sure: God is love and I can trust Him ...

not to give me what I want, but to give me what I need.]

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

And love came in a little five and a half pound bundle
last week. Welcome, Lily Jane. I love you!