unh huh, unh hmm

We went to shop for a new TV this evening. I had a sneaking suspicion that all would not go quickly and simply. How right I was.

First of all, the sales associates at Best Buy are very young and knowledgeable with nicely gelled hair. But they are way too serious about their TVs. So I use my age and charm to get them laughing a bit.

Fortunately our boy, I mean sales associate, Dustin, had a sense of humor. We told him we didn't want the edges of our HDTV to be shiny. He paused a second, probably thinking we were old wackos. "Shiny? You mean the screen?"

"No," we said, "the edges."

"They cause a reflection," Bill said. I was thinking more about fingerprints, forgetting that I no longer have toddlers. So we chose a "dull" Sony.

On the way to the register, Dustin mentioned we'd need some blah-dee-blah cable. "Oh, like fifty bucks?" I joked. "Sixty for the shorter one," he answered.

Upon reaching the register, he inquired about our DVD player. "How old is it, more than a year?" Oh boy, here it comes. "You'll get it for half price if you buy one tonight, and the image will be WAY better on your new TV."

Oh sure, why not? We chose one. That is, Dustin chose one for us. Cha-ching.

The embarrassing fact is, I have absolutely no understanding of modern TV technology, cables, cable providers or the like. Worse, I don't care to learn. Reading Consumer Reports puts me to sleep.

So it's very disheartening to enter into this techno-world where I'm lost beyond the sales boy's first three sentences. I'm also very worried that it will take me at least a year to figure out the new remote.

Lurking at the sidelines was a sales boy for Direct TV. In Best Buy! Oh, yeah - he got us. Scott was very personable and savvy on cost comparisons between his company and the one we happen to be using to get cable into our house.

By the time it was all over we'd been stung for, I mean selected, not only a TV, but two cables, a new DVD player and new cable provider to boot. After two hours, as Scott reviewed our agreement, I was hungry and tired. I found a nearby stool and pulled it over. Blah, blah, blah-dee-dah he continued.

"Unh huh, unh huh, unh hmmm," I mumbled, trying to look alert and interested. I was ready for my jammies and to curl up in front of the new TV. But of course, that won't happen until the NEW cable guy comes to the house to hook it all up.

One other thing. Why are these young salesmen so cool and in command? Maybe it's because they haven't been beat up by kids, mortgages, grumpy spouses and college tuition. Just wait. Someday they'll be the old wackos.