Thursday, May 24, 2012

Where's happy? I'll take joy

My dad has been  placed under Hospice care. They believe he's bleeding internally, and if that would stop on its own, Dad could possibly come off of Hospice. There are many criteria needed for Hospice to be recommended and I don't understand them all.

What I do know is that I feel a large cloud enveloping my heart. Dad is 87 and his health is deteriorating. While none of us knows the future, it's evident that he's declining.

When such a cloud rolls in, I usually get busy. I garden. And work on an article that's due. I plan meals and grocery shop. I cuddle my granddaughter Lily and marvel at new life while an aging one is slipping away. My father's life. I go about my life, but the dread of Dad's condition jerks me back. It certainly doesn't allow for happiness.

The good news is, happiness is so temporal and external.
It's what we can see, touch, taste and experience.
In the long run, despite what the world may say,
happiness really doesn't amount to much.

But joy! Joy is ever-present. 
Joy comes in the deep peace of knowing God is in control.
He works all things for good for those who love and  trust him. (Romans 8:28)  
He uses challenges for his higher purpose of molding me to be more like him and to serve him.
He doesn't leave us, ignore us, or stop caring about us. (Hebrews 13:5) Ever.
We see but a footprint of God here on earth; in heaven we'll realize all of who he is.
(1 Corinthians 13:12)
Wow. 

And so, though I don't like this road, it's one we all must walk.
Sometimes the goodbye is short or long or non-existent.
This one is long and hard, but not without joy.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well put Barb. You and your family are in my prayers.

Kathleen said...

Praying for your father . . . and for your family.

Jenny Haller said...

That is a good attitude to have. I'm pretty sure thats what Jesus felt in the garden knowing what was before him.

Diana said...

I think I truly grew up as I sat by my Father's bedside his last day on this earth. You are wise to know that "happy" and "joy" are two different states....one is fleeting the other continuous. There is one more state I would wish for you as you walk this path....peace.