Saturday, April 28, 2012

more to the story

I found your comments on my last post interesting. Not all teen boys hold back their affection for mom, and you moms are blessed! But in my opinion, teen boys who hug their moms in public are the exception rather than the rule.

My favorite comment was from the "boy" I described in the post, my son Dan, the one who pushed me away when he was 16. He's 27 now, a husband and father. He commented, "I'll hug you anytime, Mom. Love you!" Most kids do come around in their 20's. Suddenly mom and dad know a few things, and we become more a friend than parent.

Of course, getting to that new point in the relationship means we have to let go. Intentionally, over and over. I've found that letting go isn't just leaving them at college when they're 18. Nor even when they marry. Just like learning to parent when my children were small, I must unlearn that role bit by bit. Opinions and advice held back. Giving them space to try, to stretch, to grow, and sometimes to fail.

"Just cut those apron strings!" I tell myself. 
But they aren't always neatly snipped.
At times they are pulled and torn by a maturing boy (or girl). 
I'm learning that the frayed edges will be fewer when mom is willing to gracefully let go. 

With my boys on Dan's wedding day in 2007.


Karen Dawkins said...

Perhaps the title of the previous post should be "My Landscaper Wouldn't Hug Me"?

Glad he got over that!!! :)

Barb said...

Me, too!