Sunday, April 19, 2009

things I don't know ...

This seems silly, but Bill suggested I make a list of
"things I don't know how to do." In case anyone magnanimously wants to run to my rescue and teach me, I might add, "... and is too lazy or disinterested to learn." I do like to learn many things. In fact, I will drive myself bats learning to master something that grabs my attention. But not all things.

Here are some things I don't know or understand and probably never will.

"Getting poked" on facebook.

Bollywood. It has something to do with Hindi-style dancing...but why that name?

Certain computer functions.... like spreadsheets.

Using a GPS. What's wrong with maps?

How to operate call-waiting. How to put people on hold. I'm really not such an important person that two people need to talk with me simultaneously.

How to operate the DVD player. I'm not making this up: I've never played a DVD myself. So I've never watched a movie alone. Maybe that needs to change.

The rules of football. I have asked Bill, but I really can't remember what it all means. I think he thinks I'm kidding when I ask.

Calculus. No clue.

Shop for a car. B-O-R-I-N-G. Unless you count how the car looks and if it's comfortable. Sorry, sexist stereotypist I am.

Texting. OK, I can do it, but it's terribly laborious.

Abraham Lincoln said, "you can't be all things to all people." So I won't try to know everything ... but I do know a few things. Like how to raise kids, cook my face off, drive stick-shift and paddle a kayak.

That's pretty good, isn't it? What do YOU care not to know?


David said...

What a fun post!

I don't know how to water ski.

I don't know how to "Twitter," whatever that is.

I don't know squat about cars -- how to shop for them, talk about them or maintain them.

DandJHaller said...

I don't know anything about fixing cars either. I don't even know how to change a tire! (thats bad, I guess).

I definitely don't understand or know how to play video games (computer or tv).

I wish I didn't know how to do laundry...then I'd have an excuse... :)

Anonymous said...

Our "don't knows" are the same!

Barb said...

...and to think I almost left this post in the annals of the unused. Glad it sparked some conversation. I dunno how to twitter, either. But I can water ski.

Laundry. Honey, you ain't seen nothin' yet!

Anonymous said...

how do you "cook your face off"?
can you teach me?

Barb said...

The same way people "laugh their head off." Figure of speech.