happy birthday, Katie

My little girl ... is no longer a little girl.

Katie turns 22 today.

We went through some rough times.

I didn't understand her, and she resisted me.

There were nights I cried over our relationship and thought I was a horrible mother.

But look at her now.

Pleasant and poised and beautiful.

We are good friends and love being together.

She has a heart of gold

And friends of silver.

And a lifetime ahead full of promise as she marches to her own drummer. 

Katie will live life in her very special way.

How honored I am to step back and watch.

Happy birthday, Katie!

I love you so very much.

brother turns 60: how did this happen?



Mom wrote '1956' on the back, but I think I am older than 18 months in this photo!
If I'm 2 and 1/2, then Pat would be 5. Memphis, Tennessee:
we didn't live in a concentration camp, though it looks like it.

 My older brother, Pat, turns 60 today. Sixty!? When my son David turns 60, I know I'm gonna feel old! But I feel old enough with my brother turning 60, which means I'm following close on his heels.



A favorite family photo of Pat on Halloween, 1960, age 7. For a few years after this was
taken, our mom wore this mask to scare kids at our door on Halloween.



Pat's an avid golfer, and hasn't let knee and shoulder replacements interrupt his game too much. It's funny, because as a kid he was a little chubby and had no interest in sports or exercise of any kind. I don't remember him playing ANY sport. The nerdy, brainy big brother. Then came college and he got serious about fitness. He began to run, lost weight and has stayed trim and fit ever since. Pretty amazing!



Pat and me on Martha's Vineyard, 1975. We were daring and hitchhiked together.

Brother, I wish you a very happy birthday. Golly, 60. How did this happen? 

Pat's on the far left, with his younger siblings and our dad,
celebrating Dad's birthday in December.



Ellie the Entlebucher??

The Cadillac of dog shows was held in New York this week. In scanning stories on Yahoo I saw a vaguely familiar face in an article on the Westminster show. They reportedly accepted six new breeds for the show, including the Entlebucher Mountain Dog. In poking around, I made a startling discovery: I might have identified the breed of our Ellie! The markings and build bear an uncanny resemblance to our, uh, mutt.

This breed of mountain dogs originated in Switzerland and are friendly, loyal, intelligent, good with kids (well lots of dogs are all that) and excellent herders. It's good to know if we ever decide to raise sheep, Ellie's our girl to keep them in line.

a real Entlebucher Mountain Dog



a possible Entlebucher Mountain Dog

 It's funny to me how people always ask your dog's breed, especially if the dog is of questionable lineage. Our first dog, Izzy, resembled a black Irish Setter. "Oh, she's a flat-coated setter!" a man once said. In our family, we just wanted a dog that mom would care for completely the kids could love , so we picked out one at the pound that seemed friendly enough. We weren't too picky about breeds or paternity/maternity. And it's worked out for two dogs over 18 years now.

Even so, I take comfort in knowing that Ellie just might have some Mountain Dog blue blood in her.

kinder and gentler

I guess it had been awhile since I'd gotten gas at Speedway. In any event, the pump wouldn't recognize my rewards card. Not willing to forfeit the 3-cents-a-gallon savings, I walked inside.

Young clerk: "Do you want me to come help you at the pump, honey?"

Me, slightly startled at her endearing term: "Uh, I don't think so, thanks, my rewards card just isn't working."

When she couldn't get my card to work, either, she said, "Well, you let me know if you need help, dear," as if the problem was my senility.

I've noticed: people are treating me differently. Subtle at times, but definitely a noticeable change. I don't ever remember people being so - nice - to me in the past. Holding doors, "oh, you first." Kinder, gentler. It's funny, I still think and feel young, like in my 20's or 30's. But obviously I don't look so young. Hair, body shape, wrinkles, whatever.

Maybe some would be bothered by this deferential treatment. But I'm not bothered, just humored. I wonder if women my age who, um, haven't yet "gone gray" have a different experience?

There you have it. Aging has its perks so I'm not about to cover it up! Wouldn't it be great if we could all treat each other in a kinder and gentler fashion?

Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life.

Proverbs 16:31

our Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day. We do it our way, hubby and me. A late lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant. A visit with his mom. Stayed home and made baked salmon and wild rice for dinner. Lingered over the candlelight and talked about our dreams and plans. It's not flowers and chocolates for us, but we like it.
And love each other. The Author of love is eloquent on how love should play out.

Love is patient,

[my teenager needs to share a heartache late into the night, past my bedtime]

love is kind.

[someone knocks at my door, uninvited]

It does not envy,

[wouldn't a new house be nice?]

it does not boast,

[I might have some successes in life, but still have much to learn]

it is not proud.

[why do I find it so hard to admit my failings to others?]

It is not rude,

[have I really listened with quiet respect to my husband today?]

it is not self-seeking,

[I'd love that last piece of cheesecake, but so would my husband]

it is not easily angered,

[does it really matter if he wants to organize the fridge - again?]

it keeps no record of wrongs.

[am I pointing out my child's mistakes once again?]

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
[I always told my kids that they can expect the truth from me, and I expect the same from them.
Real relationship is built on truth.] 

It always protects,

always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

[I know God expects from me what He's given me: love, hope, faith.
When life is gritty and mundane and just no fun,
I will stand up straight and just do the next thing.]

Love never fails.

[Of this I can be sure: God is love and I can trust Him ...

not to give me what I want, but to give me what I need.]

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

And love came in a little five and a half pound bundle
last week. Welcome, Lily Jane. I love you!

arms ever full

with Katie ~ 1990

with Lily ~ 2012

dear Lily



Baba and Lily: 36 hours old

 Dearest Lily Jane,

Aunt Katie and I spent this cold and snowy afternoon with you. I'm sure you're the smallest baby I've ever held. Katie said "she feels like a water baby." (One of Katie's first baby dolls.) Katie and I took turns holding you while your exhausted mom and dad got some sleep.

Your wispy dark hair swirls over her head, very much like my babies' did.

I think your nose looks like your mom's.

Your dainty fingers covered maybe a third of my index finger.

Your little body, under six pounds, is a complete being. A life from God. Incomprehensible, really.

It was lovely to sit with my daughter and newest granddaughter on this day after your birth, marveling at your breathless little face with its perfect features. You may be tiny, my Lily, but I love you in a very big way. Welcome to our family. Welcome to life!

Love you forever,
your Baba

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139:13