mission accomplished

As our children were born, we had great hopes for them, one being that they go to college. Both Bill and I attended small, private colleges and while we would give our children the choice to attend any college, we both have an affinity for small campuses.

As our children approached college age, it was evident that not everyone wanted nor thought they needed higher education. Only about half of our kids' high school classmates headed to college. This shocked me since I was raised by parents who expected us to attend college.

So. Why college? "Today's students can gain life skills and training in other ways. College isn't for everyone. The expense! You can live at home and save money." We heard it all. And most of it rings true. But as our four chose college and left our nest, we began to see that the choice for them was a very good one.

We saw incredible growth in each of our children as they spent four years away from home. Resident hall living shaped them to cooperate in a community. They were on their own to best use their time in order to succeed. It was up to them how and when to eat, do laundry, clean up after themselves and study. Three of our kids went to Taylor University, an intentionally Christian college in rural Indiana. Taylor's about more than academics. They are serious about helping young men and women be prepared spiritually to work and serve others in God's name.

On Saturday, almost our entire family (sadly, David couldn't make it) witnessed our last child, Katie, receive her diploma. Eleven consecutive years of college. Sixteen cumulative. And all four, by God's grace and provision, graduated in four years. We're so very thankful.

Next post: some fun from a very full weekend!

Mary-Kate and Ashley go to college

These whopper wind turbines went up over the summer on Taylor University's campus. They are joining - and will power - the new Euler Science Complex, scheduled to open in 2012.

As we prepared to leave Taylor yesterday after parents weekend, I asked Bill to drive over toward the science center so I could photograph the turbines. I think they're spectacularly majestic and beautiful, like huge versions of those little spinners you hold and blow as a kid. Taylor, in the heart of flat Indiana farmland, gets plenty of wind, so the turbines are usually rotating, round and round.

Taylor students nicknamed the turbines Mary-Kate and Ashley, due to their proximity to Olson, a women's dorm. Isn't that hilarious! And one student reports how she woke up on a sunny morning soon after arriving on campus to a flashing light in her room. The sun was reflecting off Mary-Kate ... or Ashley. Well, I guess the scientist-types don't think of everything!

Oh, yes. We had a fun weekend with Katie. We ate college food, (always kicked up a notch up for parents), watched tennis, worshiped in chapel. Amazing music! After ten years of kids at Taylor, this begins our last. It'll be a bittersweet year of "lasts" and I'm not too sure what I think of that. We'll miss Taylor, a phenomenal school and community. But life moves on, our family's growing by leaps and grandbabies, and we'll embrace what's ahead.

Of course, it's our last year of tuition payments, and that's not one bit sad!

right: Katie (middle) with two of her three adorable apartment-mates: Brie and Hannah.

ten years ago

Ten years ago this week we delivered David, our oldest, to college for his freshman year. And except for a period of about 18 months, we've returned to Taylor University's campus many times over these ten years. David, Dan and Katie spent their college years there.

I think I'll save my sentimental Taylor-ramblings for another post - namely the end of the coming school year, when Katie graduates. (You WILL graduate, Katie?) For now, I think back to that August day in 2001 when I was going to bravely deliver David to college. Oh, I wasn't one of those blubbery moms who sobbed all the way home. This is what we'd prepared for: encouraging our kids to take flight, go away to college, and learn independence. I was not a clingy, hanger-on mom. I had this all under control!

Until it was time to go. The sun had just slipped behind the football field at Taylor, and our family of six stood in the parking lot outside the chapel. David was due at a freshman event, so we really had to leave. And the tears came. Not just mine. Bill's. And all the siblings'. And David's too. It was the most unexpected, extreme display of emotion I'd ever experienced. We all sobbed and hugged, as if our hanging on could delay our separation. 

I was so very proud of David and happy for this time in his life. But I very mother-ly realized that our family would never, ever again be the same. I'd have to stop and count out five plates instead of six for dinner. One less boy eating gobs of food. Less laughter from my very good-natured son. As his world broadened and became more, mine became less.

The change would eventually be good, I just didn't yet know what that good looked like. In the week or two after David left, I felt adrift. With a husband and three kids still at home! I missed him. Horribly, terribly. I have never admitted this to anyone, but I pulled his baby blanket from my bottom drawer and slept with it a few nights. All crazy "me" stuff .... not really "him" stuff!

By week two, as David would call us occasionally (I resisted calling him), my gloom lifted. He loved classes. He was making friends. The dorm brotherhood was awesome. Taylor was the place he was meant to be. And I knew he had begun growing into the young man God desired. And that we desired.

Letting my son go meant I would lose his boyhood, but I would witness his growing manhood. And that was a very good thing indeed.

sisters

Wow, wow, do I love comments! Twelve yesterday! Well. Three were mine, so they don't count. But it's fun to hear from everyone. Thanks!

Drumroll, please: Katie completed her online course! It's done, thank you, Lord. And Katie!

She's having a little visit with two close friends from college. The memories of my own college years flood back as I hear the girls talking and giggling late at night. I love seeing Katie's close, deep friendships with these "sisters" who will likely be friends for life.

There's something sweet and special about young women who are tasting their new independence and learning what God has for them in life as they live in community with each other. The last three years have been amazing for Katie.

Make the most of this time, girls, for soon life will whisk you off to new friends and places. There will never be anything quite like college.

homecoming

For nearly ten years, we've sent kids off to college. Contrary to the empty nest, I call these the yo-yo years: send kids off, and reliably they come flying back. In and out, back and forth. Until - blessed day - they graduate, have JOBS and are independent.

The yo-yo years are bittersweet. I cried at first, then got all excited when they came home for breaks. But - rude awakening and is it just me? - kids coming home from college isn't the same as arriving home from soccer practice.

It's more like ... a houseguest arriving.

I catch myself ...
- cleaning out the freezer
- organizing the fridge
- sorting through mail and newspapers
- planning meals s/he'd like
- changing beds and running the vacuum
- clearing out snacks or fridge items that might have been here when they were last home ... because I've been chastised for "still having THAT?"

When did I put priority on what my kids thought of my housekeeping? Do I care if they care about pawprints on the storm door, dog hair on the stairs, or that the toilet in their bathroom hasn't been cleaned?

When did I go from making my way through kids and clutter underfoot to treating the same kids like guests at my bed and breakfast?

Can someone explain? I tell you, it's odd psychology.

But my daughter arrives home tomorrow, and I've no one to blame but myself. I've already asked her what she'd like for dinner.

24 at Taylor

Over the weekend I became a college student for 24 hours. At my daughter Katie's invitation, I packed my pillow, sheets and toothbrush and drove out to Indiana to spend a night with her.

Oh, boy. I'm no longer 20 years old. I observed college life with a new perspective, 30 years later:

1. My suite-mates don't watch the clock very closely. On Sunday, a "school night," we went to bed about 1 a.m. "This is early," they said.

2. I forgot that a shower wouldn't be there awaiting me. Finding them all occupied, I realized the the "8 o'clock class" girls would clear out soon. They did.

Oldest living college student:

ready for bed.

3. Today's college students have a lot of STUFF. I don't think I possessed so many belongings back in the 70's. Katie's closet is suffering a severe case of end-of-year disorganization.

4. Despite the students' grumbling, I found the food acceptable. Katie's roommate thinks moving to an apartment would be fun, "because we'd have a kitchen and do our own cooking." In thirty years, she might think differently. Let someone else do the cooking as long as you can.

5. Doing laundry at college is a time-intensive annoyance .

6. TWO pick-a-date groups came by looking for a "bigger or better" item for a game they were playing. That was fun.

7. Privacy and quiet can be elusive at college. The comraderie is so wonderful, it's a wonder these girls get anything done.

8. Once college is over, the great care and support ends, too. The friendliness and helpfulness of a small, Christian college community is second to none.

9. Taylor chapel produces the most amazing worship and music and sweet voices and I wish I could be there all the time for it.

10. I came away thankful for a daughter (and her cute roommate Maria) who would share her time and space with mom. (And thanks, 1st south English, for welcoming me!) Love you, Katie!

Not ready for bed.

What did you love about college? Or not?

day trip

It's become evident that to keep up with our growing family ... four grown kids, two daughters-in-love and a soon-to-be grandchild spread over four different states, we must become vagabonds of sorts.

Like today. We took a fine little day trip down to Oxford, Ohio to visit son Mark and his new bride Jill. Or, as we fondly call her, Jilly Bean. I don't know how that got started. Today I bought her some jelly beans (buttered popcorn: is there any other flavor as great when it comes to jelly beans? She and I agreed on that one) so the name fits.

Anyway. Calendar open for the day. Dog care covered. (Thank you, neighbor Sammy) Up early-ish for a Saturday, and westward we went.

We arrived at the adorably appointed newlywed apartment and had a tour. Cute, cute, cute. Funny how the mountain of wedding gifts all fit into the apartment so neatly and uncluttered!





Then, off for tour #2 of the fabulously new and expensive Farmer School of Business. I am impressed by the ways a college can spend our tuition money. Beautiful: see for yourself ...





Next up was a 2-mile hike through the woods and over the streams of Miami University's wildness: an area as yet unadorned by multi-million dollar buildings.





Lunch was enjoyed at Mark and Jill's apartment: how fun is that, to be fed by your children!

Next we headed to Hamilton, Ohio to check out Jungle Jim's. Beginning as a produce stand 35 years ago, Jungle Jim's is now a crazy gargantuan food store/international market/quirky place. I thoroughly embarrassed my son by shooting a few photos, but what the heck.





We even visited Jungle Jim's award-winning restrooms!



Finally a little Ohio State football and some pizza before we rolled on home.

A good day was had by all. Thanks, Mark and Jill!

detours

It's that time of year again...kids off to college. This is our ninth year: it's become an annual pilgrimage. Today we took our youngest, Katie, to college in Indiana.

In Indiana is grown lots



and lots




and lots



of corn.



We encountered detour signs, giving a little twist to our familiar route. No matter. We laughed and enjoyed the ride.



Finally we pulled in to the amazing little town of Upland. And unloading commenced.



Squeals and hugs erupted. I'm pretty sure this only goes on in the girls' dorms. Katie was ECSTATIC to be back.

And I thought. The day was much like raising kids. Just when you think you're on the right road, a detour appears. Adjust the course. Roll down the windows, sing and laugh ... but too soon the journey's over and it's time to let go.

We can try to hold on to our chicks for all we're worth, but soon we're unloading them into a box of a room where they're happy as clams.

And then

the day quiets



and

the sun fades on our years of parenting.

boys smell worse than girls

This is not opinion. It is absolute, indisputable fact ... observed over 25 years of parenting and now eight years of hauling kids in and out of college dormitories. Not until yesterday did I realize the startling difference between the sexes when it comes to odors.

Bill and I arrived at Katie's dorm (uh, residence hall: I don't know why the term 'dorm' is no longer in vogue) at 2 p.m. to begin the exodus of her belongings from room 103 to our minivan. Of course the mild temps of earlier in the week had vanished, as it neared 85 degrees. My nose dribbled, not knowing any difference between Ohio pollen and Indiana pollen.

I strolled into English Hall to find Katie. Perhaps two armloads later, it hit me. Or didn't hit me: that BOY smell. For seven years the unparalleled odors of a boys' dormitory in May revolted me no end. Dirty, orphaned socks. Overflowing, rotting garbage cans. Unwashed, maybe never-washed sheets. Definitely never-vacuumed rooms. Pillows that could walk out to the van on their own. Reeking tennis shoes and moldy towels. Yech.

So, yesterday in English amazed me. Oh, there were some bags of trash here and there. And a table of giveaway items by the front door. But most of the debris was orderly and definitely lacking any discernable odor. What a pleasure.

Don't get me wrong. I love my boys, and two or three of them are quite bearable. But a dormitory full? Hard to take.

Give me the scent of a gaggle of girls!

outta here...again

On Sunday we moved Katie to college. Funny, when she spent her first semester in Ireland, it didn't feel like sending her off to college. This does.

Moving in a college freshman is usually associated with a scorching August day, making a Wal-mart run for a fan all while wearing a t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops. Not this time around.

Since Katie spent her first semester in Ireland with just 2 suitcases, her big move took place on January 4. Cold. Biting wind. Drizzle.

Also different was the "reunion atmosphere." Instead of not knowing a soul on campus, Katie has two dozen friends from her months in Ireland.

Is it easier to send off the last one? Yeah, but this mom's heart is still a little sad. My head says "be happy for what's to come" but my heart says, "where'd the years go?"

Really, though. The "empty nest" isn't quite yet. I think that happens when they all finally finish college and/or get married and move out on their own. For now, we're in the "yo-yo years." We get into a nice little routine of cleaner kitchen counters and bathrooms ... and suddenly they're back for Christmas or - really drastic - summer break. And leave again.

I'll say one thing. Being a mom is never stagnant. Kids blow from one life stage to the next and either you run like mad to keep up or get left behind, wondering where they went.

But at some point, we must let them run while we find contentment in a job well-done. I'm just learning how to do it.

Silent Night

Last night we witnessed a peculiar thing called Silent Night. It's an annual basketball game held the first Friday of December at Taylor University. The enormous crowd remains silent for the first nine points scored. At the tenth point, the crowd erupts into a wild frenzy.

The students wore pajamas, Santa hats and elf slippers. Even the university's president strolled through in a bathrobe, greeting students and visitors. Rival residence halls chanted out to each other and my sons' former dorm, Sammy Morris, serenaded us with Christmas carols from the end zone.

Following the game, the crowd of students met up at the dining commons for "Habecker's Holipalooza" - a festive Christmas celebration of cookie-decorating, hearing the Christmas story from President Habecker and other fun events.

Of course, we had a bit of our own fun at Ivanhoe's, the famous local restaurant. Several parents who'd gone to Ireland enjoyed Ivanhoe's burgers and sundaes.

Special thanks to the RODMAN FAMILY who live in Upland. We spent some time together and had good laughs over Kelsie's pizza dough, which was mysteriously missing the yeast. The warm fellowship with them made it all ok. Thanks, Kelsie & Rob, Ellie, Jessi and David!

Katie and her good friend, Christy, enjoying Silent Night.

big day at Goggin and beyond

Yesterday was spent on the campus of Miami University: Bill, Katie and I joined Mark and and his wonderful fiancee, Jill. A fun time was had by all!

1. Met Mark and Jill at Oxford Bible Fellowship for the 9 a.m. worship. Great worship and a solid message.

2. Brunch at Bob Evans. I highly recommend their eggs benedict-type dish featuring bacon and spinach. Delicioso!

3. Checked out Jill's room, which we've nicknamed the "bowling alley." Long and narrow, but she's decorated it adorably. Darn, forgot to take a photo.

4. Walked to the nearby Goggin ice arena for the sporting event of the day: INTRAMURAL BROOMBALL! Since the opposing team didn't show up, Mark's team played another team that had just finished their game. This sport is hockey-like, played on ice, but without ice skates. If that sounds wimpy, well, go try it. It looked like the ice was a hindrance to the guys moving their feet, whereas skates help you move. BTW, Mark's team won this un-game and the duration of the game was especially appealing this busy day: 20 minutes.

Broomball action

Here are the fans cheering on their broomball team!

Our favorite broomballer!




This is a relaxed sport. Here's the timekeeper, eating some lunch out of a McDonald's bag.



5. Checked out Mark's room in Symmes Hall. Neat and spartan. He's an R.A. and a few of his residents seemed terribly bored...

6. Engagement photo shoot! I wasn't too closely involved in this, but I think the engaged couple had a fun afternoon with photographer Katie!





7. At the end of the shoot, we were at "Western" on the Miami campus. This area is rich in history. Beginning in the 1800's, it was a women's college in itself. And in 1964, 800 young volunteers gathered here during "Freedom Summer." The college students headed south to register African Americans to vote. Take a look at the plaque commemorating this historic event. In light of our recent Presidential election, I reflected awhile on how far we have come. (click on this pic so you can read the wording...)



8. After much posing, moving from place to place and shooting, it was time to eat again. Uptown Oxford for Mexican food. Charro something. A perfect ending to a full day!

Concrete-sitting in the 'shoe

It's THE GAME in these parts: the annual match-up between Ohio State and the U. of Michigan. For over 100 years, they've knocked heads the Saturday before Thanksgiving every single year. I'd say the hype is second only to the Presidential election. For real.

I'd get excited if, and only if, one of my sons were to put on an Ohio State football uniform today. It's really the only time I get excited about a sport: if someone I know and love is somehow involved. (note: stay tuned for my next post.)

Have I ever personally BEEN to an Ohio State-Michigan game, you ask? As a matter of fact, yes, I have. The year was 1976, I believe. My older brother Pat was living in Columbus and somehow snagged tickets for "the game." Bill and I were dating and he was absolutely thrilled at our good fortune.

Entering "the 'shoe" (short for OSU's stadium, the Horseshoe) was impressive. Who isn't wowed by the crowds, the band, the scarlet and gray everything? But somehow I ended up sitting on a concrete step for the entire game. Whether it was a crowded student section or some rude person just took my seat, I don't know. But there I sat, on a cold, hard step. This is not my idea of a fun time, and I don't wish to ever repeat it. I guess I was an old lady even then!

Therefore, I'll be at home today. To seem interested, I'll ask my hubby the score. And wonder silently how an inedible nut ever came to be OSU's mascot. And imagine some poor soul perched on concrete for the afternoon.

And for all my loved ones who love Ohio State, GO BUCKS!

did you cry?

Katie's first question over the phone after we left her at Taylor U. was, "did you cry, mom?"

I cried the night before, at the hotel. The next day we helped her settle in her dorm room, home for just 5 days before leaving for Ireland. A temporary and sparse set-up and not feeling really college-like. Then we watched her walk with her new roommate, off to an afternoon class. She never looked back.

This reminded me of her ordering me to let her "walk to the bus stop by myself" as a kindergartener. She was ready then for the road ahead, as she is now.

So, Katie, on the afternoon I watched you walk into young adulthood, yes, my heart cried. But the tears never came. You're a young woman, and as I said before: go. Discover the world and find out who you are and who God intends you to be.

I love you. And I will be just fine. Even if I cry a little.

Sad is Selfish and Taylor is Tops

Our youngest, Katie, leaves for college in 8 days. The questions roll in daily now: How can you let go of your youngest? She's going so far! (She's studying in Ireland her first semester.) Won't you be sad?

Welp, I've made a decision, people. I've decided NOT to be sad. OK, I'll probably cry as we drive away, realizing (as I did with all 3 sons) that our family is changing forever. Then, I'll wipe my eyes and focus on the absolutely amazing experience that lies before her.

Taylor University is one of the best things to happen to our family. Heck, I didn't even know Christian liberal arts colleges EXISTED until David started college-shopping. And we discovered Taylor, tucked away in a tiny town between the cornfields of Indiana. It's not a "religious school." Ooooo, I detest that label. It's an intentional community of Christ-followers and strugglers who desire to discover what God has in mind for their lives. And also to find ways to be his servants.

Katie chose to pursue Taylor's Freshman Irish Studies Program and we said go for it. She's a little nervous, but who wouldn't be? This is big! We're mighty proud of her. She will see that the world is vast and begin to discover who she is and who she wants to be. Yay, Katie!

Am I sad? A little. But I believe sad is selfish. Sad would be about me and this isn't about me.

Go see the world, Katie. Taste and touch and learn and serve and savor all you can. I love you!