fly the hilarious skies

A couple of weeks ago, I made the trip to Nashville to visit my dad. But this time I traded the 7-hour drive for a one-hour flight. Fortunately for me, I flew Southwest Airlines.

The flight was packed. In agonizing slowness, the passengers finally were seated. Why don't more people check their bags? It's FREE on Southwest. I guess folks are carrying highly valuable belongings because they insist on hauling it all into the cabin.

Once settled, our show began. As the flight attendants demonstrated the emergency oxygen equipment, the one speaking said, "if your do all this and yours doesn't work, I'm sorry. It just wasn't your day." The plane erupted in laughter.

She followed up with, "if you're traveling with small children ... what on earth were you thinking?" I loved that one. I always wonder why airlines instruct "parents traveling with young children" to board first? To me, it's best to board last and get off first when traveling with squirrely kids. In fact, why not board everyone from back to front and seat parents and kids in the bulkhead?

They were just warming up. The lights dimmed as we taxiied and a sultry, male voice floated over us: "You're getting sleepy. You're not thirsty, and peanuts give you gas." Wow.

The first flight attendant then reminded us, "there's no smoking permitted on this aircraft, and not in the lavatory, either. If we find you smoking, you'll be asked to step out on the patio where you'll view our feature film, "Gone With The Wind." By now people were howling.

Finally, as we landed and were told where to make flight connections, the flight attendant said, "and if you're connecting to another airline, we don't care about you. Now get off!"

Air travel can be stressful and monotonous. But this wasn't my first fun experience with Southwest. Choose them next time you fly; you might have a special treat!