Stupid is as Stupid Does

The winning blog post is by Dave Haller. Yes, he's related to me, but my objective opinion is that he's one good writer.

College is a time when intelligent people do stupid things. Sometimes it’s a carefully calculated prank, other times a self-destructive habit.

And every once in a while you encounter the stupid-doer in a class of his own: the straight-A student without one crumb of common sense in his attic. Who doesn’t believe in sensory feelings like “cold” and “hot,” and proves it by wearing shorts around campus during the iciest winter months. Who has no concept of personal space and no interest in obtaining a driver’s license. Whose idea of a perfect meal is mozzarella sticks and coffee.

This former classmate of mine shall remain anonymous.

One night a small group of us was walking back to our dorm from an event across campus. Always on the prowl for mischief, we spotted a few students studying in the library foyer. They were sitting ducks, unable to see out the floor-to-ceiling window because of the reflection inside. The possibilities were endless!

From the sidewalk 30 yards away, we stopped to weigh our options of how to spook them. Not ten seconds later, with no warning, our protagonist took off in a lumbering sprint directly toward the window. It unfolded like slow motion: he collided with the glass and fell backward like a stunned bird as the window shattered. The bookworms inside leaped out of their seats with screams we could hear from the sidewalk.

Forget the academics; it’s brainless episodes like these that I miss most about college. Sometimes even my student loan payments carry a certain whiff of nostalgia.

Dave Haller lives and works in St. Petersburg, Florida. Although he's graduated from college, he still appreciates pranks and practical jokes.